Log in

No account? Create an account
Kk, Sunshine's Journal
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kk, Sunshine's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Monday, February 27th, 2006
11:43 pm
Thursday, January 19th, 2006
7:23 pm
Shadows follow you everywhere
Shadow.... the thing you see when the sun goes down. It is not your friend, it just follows you where ever you go. It is not a someone who is there for you... just there to follow you untill the sun goes down and you are alone. Shadow finds me, but i don't like her. despise (sp)is a better word. why does she care to come around when she left me... maybe shadows do have hearts? is it possible? they are not living and breathing.. just cold lonely people with no one.
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
8:07 pm
Well this shitty year is almost over and i can tell you i am fucking happy. This year has been filled with nothing but bullshit relationships, friend, events. anyhow on the bright side the New Year is almost hear and there is definitly going to be a party. ATTENTION ALL LESBIANS!!!!! Lol just kidding.... who knows whats going to happen. I'm out for now, peace
Friday, August 19th, 2005
11:33 pm
So much to say, but not quite the time to say it..... just know that the twinkle in my eye has come again and for once i can sit back and just smile.... " When i look at you i squint you ARE that Beautiful!" MUAH..... l_ : -/_
Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
12:16 am
Unsure of what to do or say, i stumble in the darkness trying to find the light to guide me in the right direction. trippin and falling in every which way i turn, somehow still keeping my balance.

Relationships? All i have to say is girls are difficult. Their mind filling, controlling freaks. How do you work with this? if it's not thier way, then theres twice as much drama and no conclusion. alright, alright... so they do have thier good point sometimes... but man they sure do love drama.... i'm think i'm done doing my bitching for the nite. don't want to go into great deals about nothing really.... next ----->

Work..sucks ass. need a new job .. asap... anyone got any ideas? don't be afraid to shout out. well i'm tired.... peace out everyone and have a happy 4th of july...
Monday, June 6th, 2005
12:35 pm
summer camp
I only have a minute to write.. but i just wanted to tell you guys how much fun summer camp is... Summer camp yeah! OK, i know i am a big dork.. ( my kids already told me this)... All i have to say is give me a BIG cup of coffee in the morning and i am more than good to go.... OH, and this summer gymnastics has 18 pre-K girls.. their so adorable.... but hahaha... kristen wont be coaching them, i don't have the patience... i stick with the older girl.... well i have to run... peace out

P.s. veronica if you get this call my cell! sometime in the evening.. after 4pm...
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
5:05 pm
Mar Bella
I Picked up my new cat today... i'm still unsure what i am going to name her ( i know i'm a horrible person.. but life goes on) i think i might name her Mar Bella (sp?) which means Beautiful ocean in Italian.... LOL, most of you guys are probably thinking what kind of name is that.... all i can say is once you see this cats eyes you'll understand.
On another note.... my new book is in and it can't wait to start it... it's a about the coming out of a lesbian in Cali... who could want more in a book :0)... Valencia (by Michelle Tea) is the name of the book, for anyone who's interested.. other wise i'll read it and update all of you ... well i have to run.... see you later...

p.s. hitting up UC tonight... everyone should go :0)
Monday, May 30th, 2005
1:25 am
Who could want more.... I get to stay in my beautiful downtown apartment. My new roommate to be is tight... plus i think she might be gay... almost positive.. ++ she's cute::eemmmm:: SARAH...
anyhow, Works going great. I'm actually excited about staying in town this summer and coaching. Summer camp should be fun.. it's definetly the first, but i am already regretting not going out to a summer camp this summer ( overnight). Oh well, i feel that there is something big coming this summer and i'm definetly going to benifit from it. Well see i guess.
Lets see, oh i'm getting a cat Tuesday morning. I can't wait she's a black and white cat with the prettiest green eyes you'd ever seen. I'm not sure what i am going to name her, but i need to figure it out soon.
Well i'm gonna run.. Peace out
Monday, April 4th, 2005
12:45 pm
Lobster a good word to describe me right now..... LoL what can i say, when you smoke pot and go to the beach what else are you going to do? but PASS THE FUCK OUT! I sun bathed for 5 hours.. thats a long fucking time with one 1/2 hr break in the middle..... [LOL] if you guys know how white i am, then i bet you could imagine..... anyhow i am off to find some pot and something fun to do...... Peace
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
12:31 am
sunny days
LOL, yea i just spent the last 45 minutes getting ready to go out to decide not to go out. It amazing how quickly i can change my mind about things. So tomorrow i am going to the beach, yeah! hopefully it will be a lot of fun. i know it will be a day full of smoking. LoL don't be shocked if i come back really sunburned. my fav. thing to do is smoke and lay out, but the problem with it is i always fall asleep. not so good... hmmmm anyhow.... Oh yeah, Ariana and i are going to go to the Sunshine shop.. the best bathing suit shop ever.... Well i am off
Monday, March 7th, 2005
11:13 pm
Sunshine makes me smile
What a beautiful day it is today, it makes me smile... Watch all this beautiful sunshine will turn into some ichy storm.... anyhow for the time being i am going to go out and enjoy it... even though i think it is going to be a day that i enjoy myself( i really can't talk today).... anyhow i am off.... Peace
Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
11:38 pm
f R E E !
7:04 pm
" Konstantine "
Something Corporate

I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you and my big dreams

And you tell me
That it's over
But I can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover
And your restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
no, cuz you let me go

and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
**the presents just a pleasant
Interruption to the past**
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

I had dreams that I would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
Dammit you're so young
But I don't think I care
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry
its just this guilt has got the best of me

And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

Konstantine is coming down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And I've been thinking
What I've been thinking, you know
But she's been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere.

Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blond hair
And I was thinking
What I was thinking
But we've been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere.

This is because I can spell konfusion with a K
It's hard to like it
It's to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
It's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
but this time I'm alone
and I don't see those stars
I'm not your star
Isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant
you thought this song meant

If this is what it takes
to lie in my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
and all the things i've put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine

They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things I did
Hey Maybe Baby, You could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine

Spin Around me like a Dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said, did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you

Oh God I Miss You

And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no No,
And you'll kiss me in your living room, oh
And you see no,
what I've been missing in my living room
Cause it's all you
yeah this is what i've missed
what i've missed
We don't have much room
I said, Does anybody really need that room
'cause we all need a little but of room
To Live

...My Konstantine
1:31 pm
People do suck! LOL! Thats the beauty in the world.... Everyone is always looking out for whats best for themself ( actually that was an invalid statement.... most people do)..... I myself tend to care too much about what other peoples feelings are ( thats why i am always apologizing...) We are all human, so of course we all make mistakes( i sure know i do!!!!).... Learning to forgive is a key step in life.... ( if you can't forgive than god can't forgive you)..... Why carry around so much burden on your chest, when you can let it all go and move on in your life......... To me, personally, i can never stay mad at anyone to long b/c it's not worth my time or energy ( i hold to much love for everybody)...... DRAMA is DRAMA... we all hate it, but yet we all somehow cause it.... hypocrites we might call ourselves ( and if you say you've never caused it, then your wrong).... Life is to short, Live to your fullest, Peace (forgiveness) is the answer, love is a blessing...... "Be the bigger person for the light will shine brighter on you everyday"!

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
12:29 pm
Hypocrite -a person who professes beliefs and opinions that he does not hold.....
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
4:03 pm
Monday, February 28th, 2005
1:20 pm
There is no air to breath
I feel as if there is no air and my lungs are closing in.... Gainesville is crowding me and everyday that goes by it gets smaller and smaller( i feel as if i am locked in a small room i cannot escape from)... I'm to the point i feel i need to run (I know running doesn't solve anything so thats out of the question).. Anxiety is start to attack me again, and i am unsure how to handle it. I have already had two anxiety attacks this week and this is the first time in almost a year... I am unsure what is bring them on, but i can't take it anymore!!!!!
This probation shit isn't going the way it is suppost to be... My lawyer told me one thing and now another thing is happening, i'm not going to deal with this shit anymore... All i have to say is i DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT ANYONE SAY I AM GETTING OFF TOMORROW! I'm not getting fucked over anymore......
I'm back to thinking about moving, i feel it is time for a change ( god for bid i've been in this small ass town my whole life). I was thinking of staying another year and figuring everything out, but i also haven't signed a lease anywhere for next semester, sooooooooo we'll see.... Well i am off i have a dentist appointment, yuck!
Everyone cross your fingers for me ( about this probation shit), i really need it right now! If you believe in God, even better pray for me :0)!
Thursday, February 24th, 2005
11:24 pm
i'm free the 1st!!
Well the 1st i am finally off of probation, yeah! I can't wait my best friend Ariana and my friend Sarah said they were going to smoke me out, then i am going to come home and my roommate and her boyfriend said their going to smoke me out till i drop ( pass out)! I wont know what to do with myself, i haven't smoked in over three months. oh boy! :0)!!!!
Jake we need to go to the rainbow gathering this weekend... it's the last weekend isn't it? There are goodies waiting for us, calling out names! can you hear them? i know i can!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyhow Nica i wanted to apologize again, i'm sorry for everything that has happened. I want you to know you are a very important person in my life and i don't want anything to change that.... I was a little out of line in what i said and i am glad i had the chance to somewhat explain myself a little better.... I don't hold anything to you, you are doing what makes you happy and so am i. I want you to know that i would never let something as stupid as what happen come between our friendship..... i cherish my friendships with my friends... There is more that we need to talk about, but nothing that is bad :0)! can we go to the mellow mushroom when you get back? it's our place and it's goooooooood. Also i hope everything is going good for you, i know things can't be the best with all this unnecessary drama that is going on.... You know if you ever need anything you can talk to me, i'm here.......
Anyhow i am off to go get ready to go out. Lets just hope that tonight has better results than last night!
PEACE OUT EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s. if any of you guys are leaving for spring break, HAVE FUN (don't do anything i wouldn't do) and please be safe!
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
5:43 pm
Your right i did put my phone on silent, but that is b/c i was in the gym..... I felt as if i should call you back, but don't really feel like it.... This is something i feel need to be talked about in person! I'm sorry for the way i handled the situation, it was a little out of line... my phone will be on if you feel the need to talk to me sooner than thursday...

On the other hand, My day went over pretty smoothly and i am glad :0). A little tired from a long nice evening last night, but it was definitely worth every minute :0)!!!
2:39 pm
I am definitely unsure where to begin.... Like i said yesterday so much to say but can't find the words to say it.... I do feel that it is a good time to write, but that i might be a little to harsh... ( but in some way i don't really care)..
It's funny how someone who claims to be so honest and truthful, becomes a hypocrite! I am unsure what to think of this person at this time... i do indeed love her to death, but at the same time i am disgusted with her. I now know why i freaked out that night in my roommates bedroom, i'm not stupid, i was right on track. Even though you denied it to me then, somewhere inside you knew it might be true too.. God for bid you went to down south (home) with her, you didn't even have the decency to call me or tell me anything... Have you fucked her yet??? are you in love with her? Thats ok i did my share of time with her, all i have to say is have fun.... I wouldn't have ever gone back, lets just hope she doesn't do to you what she did to me... I will not say anymore, for you should understand my frustrations, and that i am not over it and made myself get over it.... I just wanted to let you know how this situation was a little fucked up! I'm sorry that i was harsh, but i will not go back and change my words for they have been lingering in my head for sometime... Just make sure you make wise decisions... I hope you are happy, i really do.... It is best.. i have found myself in a very happy place and hope it takes me far :0)....
P.s. the last couple of days have been great :0):o):0) all i can do is smile !!!!
[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com